[Review] Squareboy vs Bullies Arena Edition

Developer: Ratalaika Games / Rohan Narang
Publisher: Ratalaika Games
Category: Arcade, Fighting, Action, Multiplayer
Release Date: 10.12.2017

Squareboy vs Bullies was originally released as a mobile game before being ported over to the Nintendo Switch and added the Arena Edition since the game can be played by 1 to 2 players. Based on the era of Gameboy Brawlers, they didn’t drop the ball with this one.

Do you remember back when Gateway computers were a thing? We had this horribly slow desktop, but I vividly remember this karate game that I played religiously (since it was 1 of like 1 games I had on DOS). Squareboy vs Bullies eerily reminds me of this game of which I can’t remember its name (and believe me, I searched google in hopes of finding it with no luck).

I was immediately returned to 10-year-old Mer sitting at the computer and eagerly fighting my way through the levels and kicking some serious ass. Squareboy vs Bullies will take you back to the 90’s and remind you of the good old days with simple yet complex brawlers…unless you were born post 1995, then you probably have no idea what I’m talking about. But I digress…

While I cannot condone the concept of using violence to end violence (I’m a pacifist, what can I say?), it does provide for some interesting game play. You play as Squareboy, a little guy who gets his ass kicked on the daily by some bullies. Why? Who knows. Do we ever really know why bullies choose specific victims? It’s probably because he is small and easy pickin’s. Squareboy has had enough and seeks out the assistance of a Sensei to teach him how to fight and stand up for himself.

Pay attention, this will be your short tutorial to learn how to perform some basic fighting moves. From here, the Sensei releases you in to the world to start kicking some ass. Enemies can appear from left or right, so keep a mindful eye. If they get to close to you, they can grab you and perform some damaging blows, so keep your distance while you perform some kick ass moves.

From a psychological stand-point, I do like that they make the bullies sound like ignorant morons…because in the real world this is how we think of them – bullies who are not smart enough to deal with their issues in a positive manner; they beat up innocent people instead.

Enemies come in different strengths and abilities. Pay attention to their head-wear and you will know what’s coming. Some can throw things at you or, in the case of a gangster looking dude, can just straight up shoot you. But do not fret! Jumping around and performing some side kicks and you can defeat them all!

Overall, the game play is pretty fun and the old school midi music is a perfect match for this Gameboy/DOS reminiscent game. The key here is to learn and get familiar with the controls. Dashing, counter attacks and grabs will be your best friend in terms of beating these nasty guys up.

To beat the game, you will fight your way through 13 brawling levels. Doesn’t seem like much, but the fun is there. The game was relatively repetitive, but I do like that I can just hop on and blow off some steam by kicking the crap out of some no-good thugs. Replayability is present in this game; even though you beat the game, you can always go back to a level and try to perform some new moves and beat your own score. Each level is scored and by performing different moves will earn you achievements.

While the game is available for free on iOS and Android devices, the Switch version is a much better choice. A bigger screen without the limitation of a gameboy style border will give you more freedom and fun. Overall, while the game is relatively short, it is quite fun.