Animal Crossing Pocket Camp Poem

Hidden behind cute
couches and bells
is a hell
of selfishness and greed.

To be friends you must feed
the ego of your neighbors
with gifts and requests.

Chrissy will only come visit
if you craft that polkadot lamp
but Tex wants an amp.

Changing your Feng Shue
to please different animals
day by day
with desires more fickle than my bae.

Why can’t we just be friends?
Share jokes over a cup of tea
play cards and checkers and parcheesi
Talk about Isabelles politics and why she
always decides suddenly that some stranger
should be in charge
of the animals at large
too lazy to shake fruit from a tree.

No, this stranger has suddenly been
put in charge of your happiness.
With only nine spots available
Will you still want to come if
I don’t have that ranch table
or a fancy new project
expanding my campsite.

Will you be the reject
who doesn’t get a place
on my lovely couch?

I spend endless hours fulfilling narcissistic demands
No matter how many I make
Cherry will still want her band.

But wait, is that a gift for me?
One piece of steel and 100 bells
Are you fucking kidding me?
I got you three apples, two pears, a pale chub and a squid
So forgive me
that I can’t see
the gratitude that be
your pathetic gift.

But still, I will forever
be your slave
pleasing you even
beyond the grave
because, shit, this game is fun.